Is it against the law to date a minor?
It’s usually not illegal to date a minor as long as the connection isn’t sexual. If the relationship is sexual or if there is any sexual contact, then both parties’ ages become important. The state in which they reside will also matter, since every state has:
- Unique laws regarding the age of consent
- Romeo and Juliet laws
- Its own idea of what sexual conduct is
Relationships that aren’t sexual
Being in a relationship with a child that isn’t sexual is usually not against the law. There is no law that says you can’t go ice skating or grab a coffee with a child. But just because dating someone young isn’t against the law doesn’t mean everything about the relationship is okay.
Some things that people do in relationships that aren’t sexual might still be against the law. In California, for example, an individual who dates a child will still need to be careful not to break these laws:
- Give alcohol to a child
- Do lewd things with a minor
- Loiter on school property
- Solicit a minor
- Bother or molest a child
- Help a minor get into trouble
- Do child pornography
- Be lewd in front of a child
It is possible to break the above rules without doing anything sexual.
What Sexual Behavior Means
Different states have different rules about what sexual behavior is. Little things do matter. In some places, it’s not even called “sexual conduct.” Also included are the following expressions:
- Sexual acts
- Sexual intercourse
- Carnal knowledge
- Penetrative acts
- Sexual contact
California uses the phrase “sexual intercourse.” It includes sexual behavior in which the penis goes into the genitalia or vagina, regardless of whether there was ejaculation. It also doesn’t matter how deep the entry is. Any entry that happened was sexual.
Texas, in contrast, makes use of terms like “acts of penetration” and “sexual contact.” Knowingly or purposely causing the following there is prohibited:
- penetration of a minor’s mouth by the actor’s sexual organ
- penetration of the sexual organ or anus of a minor
- minor’s sexual organ to penetrate or contact someone else’s anus, mouth, or sexual organ
- minor’s mouth to contact another’s sexual organ or anus
- minor’s anus to contact someone else’s mouth, anus, or sexual organ
Pennsylvania’s “corruption of a minor” crime makes it illegal to do anything sexual with a minor.
Statutory Rape
Dating a child may be illegal if there is sexual activity involved. Whether it is criminal or not will depend on how old the pair is and what the state’s age of consent is. If this is the case, the crime is often classified as statutory rape.
But a number of states have an exception for people who are almost the same age, which we’ll talk about in more detail below. Romeo and Juliet laws provide consenting sexual relations between couples of similar ages without making either party legally responsible for statutory rape.
How old must you be to give consent?
An individual must be a certain age before they can officially give their permission for sexual activity. It is illegal for one person to have sexual contact with another person who is not old enough to give permission. Whether the minor initiated the sexual activity or voluntarily consented to it makes no difference.
The age of consent is eighteen in the following states:
- Arizona
- Florida
- Oregon
- Virginia
- California
In these states, you have to be seventeen years old to give your consent:
- Colorado
- Illinois
- New York
- Wyoming
- Texas
In these states, though, it’s sixteen years old:
- Hawaii
- Idaho
- Montana
- Nevada
- New Mexico
- Washington
Because each state has a different consent age, actions that are legal in one state may be illegal in a different one. The couple’s age is a major factor.
Example: Kim is 18 years old and is dating Sam, who is 17 years old. Because they reside in Colorado, they are able to engage in sexual activity under the state’s legal framework. Later, they go on vacation in California and have sex there. Sam is not old enough to give consent in the state, so Kim may face statutory rape charges.
What is the purpose of a Romeo and Juliet law?
According to Romeo and Juliet rules, statutory rape charges can be dropped if the two people are close in age. Because they were of similar ages, the other partner did not break the law, even though one of them was not old enough to agree. You can’t get a major sexual assault conviction if you and your high school sweetheart have a sexual relationship.
Romeo and Juliet laws exist in several states, including Texas. It says a child can legally agree to sexual touch or penetration if they are either fourteen years old, fifteen years old, or sixteen years old, and the other consenting sexual partner is at least fourteen years old and within three years of their age.
Kim and Sam used to live in Texas before they moved to Colorado. There, Kim, who was 18 at the time, slept with Sam, who was 16 at the time. Kim would not be charged with statutory rape in Texas because of the Romeo and Juliet rule.
Similar criminal rules exist in other states, but the specifics tend to be different. In several states, the couple’s ages must be within five years of one another. Others may say that both partners must be at least sixteen years old.
Romeo and Juliet laws do not exist in California, though. It is illegal for anyone under the age of consent to have sexual relations with another person. A valid marriage between the sexual partners is the only exception.
Possible consequences
Statutory rape is a serious sex crime. States usually punish people who are found guilty with big fines, long jail terms, and other things.
Statutory rape isn’t always clear in California. There are two types of charges that prosecutors can bring: misdemeanor and felony. If charged as a felony, sentences mean between 16 months and three years in jail, a $10,000 fine, and/or felony probation.
The prison terms go up to 2, 3, or 4 years if one of the partners was under sixteen and the other was twenty-one or older.
Furthermore, statutory rape charges alone may subject individuals who are at least eighteen years old to civil fines. The penalties depend on how old the people involved are. They are as follows:
- $2000 if the partner was younger than the offender by less than two years.
- $5,000 in cases where there was a minimum age difference of two years
- $10,000 in cases where there was a minimum age difference of three years
- $25,000 in cases where the younger partner was under sixteen and the elder partner was at least twenty-one
In some places, the penalties for statutory rape are even worse. For instance, statutory rape is a second-degree felony in Texas. Consequences include two to twenty years in jail or a fine of up to ten thousand dollars.
People who are convicted of sex crimes have to register as sex offenders in almost all states. This can last for years or even decades.
Other possible criminal punishments are:
- Victim restitution
- Community service
- Therapy
In today’s society, just having a criminal record is a huge social stigma that can make it much harder to get jobs, professional licenses, housing, and travel in the future.
Restraining orders
Parents who find out that their young child is having any kind of contact with an older individual, even if it’s not sexual, often get a restraining order against the adult to protect their child.
People who are under a restraining order normally can’t talk to the protected party or touch them in any way, not even on the phone. Depending on the circumstances, breaking a restraining order may be a felony or a misdemeanor.
For good reason, parents think their child is too young to make sexual choices, particularly with someone older than them, where there is an obvious lack of power. Additionally, the elder adult may be “grooming” the youth into a sexual partnership or maybe engaging in sex trafficking through:
- Giving them lots of gifts and praise
- Cutting them off from their friends and family
- Making threats against them
Statutes of limitations
Following the #MeToo movement, a lot of states have increased the statute of limitations for serious sexual offenses.
Because of this, California does not have a time limit to file charges for aggravated sexual assault of a minor. For a number of other felony-level sex crimes against children, the victim has until they turn forty to file a police report.
In other words, someone who had a connection with a child a long time ago could be charged with a crime many years after the conduct. There are a number of good ways to fight sex crime charges, including:
- You were wrongly accused
- There isn’t enough proof to show the accuser’s claims beyond a reasonable doubt
- You didn’t do anything unlawful (for example, the Romeo and Juliet law in your state protects you from responsibility).
Despite this, the accusations themselves could be very bad and make family and friends not want to be around the person. There is no time like the present to get a lawyer for someone who faces sex crime charges.