5. How do you know if someone is sexually harassing you?
There are many situations in which sexual harassment can occur. The individual doing the harassing can be of any gender and have any relationship with the victim. This means the harasser could be a manager, supervisor, colleague, teacher, or peer.
Sexual harassment can appear in the following forms:
- Making conditions of employment or performance evaluations dependent on sexual favors. This can be either an explicit or implicit arrangement
- Sexual assault
- Requests for sexual favors
- Verbal sexual harassment, including jokes referring to sexual acts or sexual orientation
- Unwanted touching
- Unwanted sexual advances
- Talking about sexual relations or stories at school, work, or other unsuitable places
- Feeling pressured to be sexually involved with somebody
- Exposing oneself
- Sending unwanted explicit photos, emails, or texts
Example A: Georgia’s boss has been flirting with her for a few months, despite Georgia making it clear that she is not interested in him. When Georgia has her performance evaluation, her boss says that she’s due for a raise, but that he might need some “persuading” to give it to her. He promises the raise in exchange for a date. This is quid pro quo harassment.
Example B: Henrietta, Kylie, and Irina are the three female employees at Sunrise Enterprises, a tech company in Marina del Rey. The male-dominated workplace has proven to be hostile. The male employees constantly make rude sexual jokes about the women, making comments and gestures referring to sexual acts. This is sexual harassment targeting a group.
Example C: Liz and Anne are coworkers who love to gossip. During lunch, in the breakroom, they talk openly about their personal sexual exploits, as well as who in the office they would like to pursue. As these conversations take place in the office and can be heard by other employees, this qualifies as sexual harassment.
4. Sexual Harassment vs. Sexual Assault vs. Sexual Misconduct
Sexual harassment is an umbrella term covering many forms of unwelcome verbal and physical sexual attention. Sexual assault, meanwhile, is physical sexual contact or behavior that happens without the consent of the victim. While sexual harassment usually violates civil laws, it is not normally a criminal act. Sexual assault, by contrast, is criminal behavior, and includes the following:
- Rape
- Attempted rape
- Forced sexual acts
- Fondling or unwanted sexual touching
Sexual misconduct, on the other hand, is a term used generally to describe behavior, and not necessarily harassment. For instance, if a company prohibits sexual relationships between coworkers, and two coworkers still maintain a relationship, then they are technically engaged in sexual misconduct. Similarly, if an employer and employee have a sexual relationship, then they are engaged in sexual misconduct.
Example A: At a company Christmas party, Richard has too much to drink and decides to pursue Anya, the office secretary. Despite Anya firmly rejecting Richard’s advances, Richard attempts to have sex with her in the restroom, only to be interrupted by another employee. As attempted rape, this is criminal behavior and is classified under sexual assault.
Example B: Connie has a crush on her coworker, Christopher. Each day at work, Connie sends him explicit text messages, hoping to engage him in flirting with her. This qualifies as sexual harassment.
Example C: Riley and Todd work together at the same office. Their company explicitly prohibits relationships between employees. However, Riley and Todd pursue a sexual relationship anyway. When it is discovered, both are disciplined by their employer for sexual misconduct.
3. Where Sexual Harassment Can Happen
Sexual harassment can happen in a learning environment or workplace, and it can happen in a variety of situations. These situations do not only include exchanges within the office environment. They include after-hours or hallway conversations, as well as non-office settings among employees or peers.
2. What to Do After Witnessing Sexual Harassment
Bystander intervention is when someone steps in to help another individual at risk for sexual assault. This strategy may also be used to help prevent sexual harassment. It is possible to intervene in a way that fits one’s comfort level while still helping the individual in question. Methods of helping someone escape a situation of sexual harassment include the following:
Creating a Distraction
Interrupt the harassment or distract the harassers, so long as one is not putting oneself in danger by doing so. If the harasser appears violent or prone to violence, it is not a good idea to draw their attention in this way.
Example: At work, Cara witnesses Jacob cornering another employee, Suzanna. Cara notices Jacob putting his arm around Suzanna’s waist and him whispering in her ear. Suzanna, she notices, has her face turned away in a grimace. This does not appear to be a consensual encounter. Hoping to help Suzanna, Cara walks up to them and says, “Hey, Jake, can you help me with the photocopier? I think it’s broken.” Distracted, Jacob leaves Suzanna alone, allowing her to flee.
Asking Directly
Talk to the person being harassed and offer to accompany them any time they have to interact with the harasser.
Example: After witnessing Jacob harassing Suzanna, Cara talks with Suzanna privately, telling her what she witnessed. “I know,” Suzanna says glumly, “I hate having to be around him, but sometimes I have to for work.” Cara offers to accompany Suzanna any time she has to be around Jacob, and even offers to walk her to her car after work.
Get Others to Help
Because it can be difficult sometimes to act alone, it may be a good idea to find another employee or peer to help confront the harasser or help the person being harassed. There is, after all, strength in numbers.
Example: One day, Suzanna walks out of the office to go to the restroom. Cara witnesses Jacob following her out the door. Cara signals two other employees to go into the hallway with her to confront Jacob. Together, the three of them ask Jacob what he’s doing following Suzanna to the restroom, and he is forced to come up with a weak excuse.
Find an Authority
Perhaps the safest method is to find an authority to address the situation, such as an employer or HR.
Example: Worried about Suzanna, Cara goes to HR on her own, where she explains what she has witnessed. HR interviews Suzanna and Jacob before deciding to discipline Jacob for sexual harassment.
1. Effects of Sexual Harassment
Individuals who have experienced sexual harassment may have to deal with emotional, physical, or mental health effects. These might include the following:
Emotional
-
- Anger
- Humiliation
- Fear
- Shame
- Guilt
- Violation
- Betrayal
- Powerlessness
Mental Health
-
- Anxiety
- Panic attacks
- Depression
- Difficulty concentrating
- PTSD
- Substance abuse
- Loss of motivation
- Suicidal ideation
Physical
-
- Stress
- Headaches
- Insomnia
- Eating disorders
- Fatigue
Example: For two years, Brianna worked at NeuroTech Industries. Everything was going well for her career until Colin started working on her team. Colin consistently made rude, sexual comments in her presence, touched her without her consent, and sent her unwanted explicit text messages. After months of rejecting him and telling him to stop, Brianna finally told HR about the harassment. Colin was summarily fired, and Brianna thought it was all over. A couple days later, she found Colin waiting outside her apartment, where he assaulted her. Afterward, Brianna reported him to the police and Colin was convicted of sexual assault. Even though he is now locked away, Brianna is suffering from the effects of sexual harassment and assault. She feels humiliated that it happened, as well as powerless. She did all the right things, and still she was hurt. Her mental health has taken a downturn, with a diagnosis of anxiety and panic attacks. Every time she sees someone who looks like Colin, her heart races and she feels faint. Due to an increase in depression, Brianna barely eats and has lost an unhealthy amount of weight. All of this is the result of her harassment and assault, which has turned her, she feels, into a different person.
